The following text is directly copied from the pages of De Vocales Dementiae. The author of the work is unknown, as is its origin, but what is clear is that it is horrendously evil and prone to induce madness. Caution is to be exercised when reading the below, and it is recommended that frequent breaks be taken to spend in time of prayer to lawful deities as a means of catharsis from chaos.


De Vocabilis Dementiae

The only known copy of the book, currently kept in the library at Castle Silvertarn in a locked case

U: In the name of Ktul, Lord of Kaos.

U: So be it.

U: Entropy destroy you.

U: And you as well.

The leader opens a vein. Whose vein is not important, nor is the species of vein. A vein of thought is acceptable if no vein of blood can be found.

U: Thralls of chaos, this blood is of chaos, for you are of chaos, and you descend into chaos. Ktul our King, your gift of chaos breeds confusion and entropy, it destroys our lives and contributes to the heat death of Istria. We enjoin you to imbue this blood with discord, and to help us embrace madness. We ask this in accordance with disorder.

U: So be it.

U: Ktul, we have embraced order. Ktul, confuse us.

U: Ktul, confuse us.

U: Show us entropy and discord.

U: And instill in us disorder.

U: Ktul, confuse us.

U: Ktul, breed chaos.

U: Ktul, confuse us. Let us now sing a song of madness.

On any notes the vocalists individually please, preferably in different keys, octaves, tones, modes, and scales.









So be it.

U: Let us convulse.

It is here appropriate to seize, or, failing that, to dance in the style of the fomorians.

U: The first injunction of Ktul.

Either of the following can be construed as the first injunction. Choose by coin toss.

  1. üüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüüü.

U: So be it.

U: The second injunction of Ktul.

Ktul had no second injunction. It is thus fitting that the second injunction be read as a primal scream. Use of the vowel of derangement is mandatory, though other vowels are permitted. Consonants are in discord with Ktul’s wishes and therefore are encouraged.

U: So be it.

Cantor: üüüüüü!

U: üüüüüüü!

U: The final injunction of Ktul.

U: As entropy breeds chaos, so no word of Ktul is final.

U: So be it.

The leader may now proceed to speak at random for a time not exceeding three minutes and twenty-seven seconds. Any speech thus made is considered canon.

U: Ktul, breed chaos.

U: So be it.

It is now fitting for the congregation to simultaneously try to teach the leader on what they just heard in the final injunction. All should try to be as loud as possible.

U: Let us now profess chaos.

All join in the following.


The leader now addresses all who have not dropped dead of madness.

U: Go breed chaos in the world in glory to Ktul.

U: So be it.

Everyone is now encouraged to run for the exit. Coffee and pastries are provided as a matter of course. A recessional may be sung by the cantor to the effect of:


…or something of that nature.


From a standard theo-philosophical understanding of the key elements of liturgical worship, it can be adduced that the text above is of such a variey as to OHMYEYESWHATISHAPPENINGTOMEuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu